Charli Fudge: Get Your Lockdown Arts Fix This Weekend
Things like Valentine’s Day and Halloween used to be days in the calendar which marked exciting events like restaurant dates and fancy dress parties, rather than just cyclical reminders that we’re trapped indoors wasting the last year of our 20’s watching Peep Show for the 23rd time and getting too fat to fit in our work trousers. That might just be me but you get the point.
Don’t let the endless monotony get you down though. I say let’s embrace all the consumer holidays the calendar has to offer. Even though all you’ve probably done for a year straight now is eat food and get drunk with your partner, do it again. Except this time light some candles, put some beetroot in the hummus to make it pink, I think I saw a special red velvet baileys on sale at Sainsbury’s earlier which you should definitely go and buy. Go all out. Fire a cupids bow at the mind-numbing monotony that is our lives in lockdown. And while you’re at it, why not enjoy some live art virtually catapulted onto the world wide web for your streaming and viewing pleasure?
You can also do all that if you’re single as well, in fact I’d highly encourage it. Whitney Houston was right about a lot of things, learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. She was wrong about crack though.
Thursday 11th February
Belle and Sebastian
Stuart Murdoch, lead singer of Glasgow’s favourite twee 90’s band, the lovable Belle and Sebastian is playing a lunch time live stream today at 1:30pm entitled “Mediate with Stuart Murdoch”. Hopefully its more funny little frog than downward dog. Find it free on the Facebook here.

Vans Channel 66
Vans launched its own livestream channel this week with opening shows by Action Bronson and Japanese Breakfast. The channel runs on weekdays from 4pm until midnight and streams live from New York, Chicago, Mexico City and Los Angeles. Tonight, shows range from LA dub to 90’s Chicago indie. Rapper GZA is even playing chess live with guests in between tracks at 10pm . If you’re bored watching people play chess on Netflix, try listening to people play chess on Channel 66. Check it out free here.

Friday 12th February
Jimmy Eat World
First of all, yes they’re still around. Secondly, yes they have already performed twice over the last two weekends and somehow I haven’t noticed. Thirdly, catch them for their final performance this Friday at 10pm for $17.50 at www.jimmyeatworldlive.com. You’re welcome.

Pearl Jam
The real news here is that Pearl Jam are releasing their own charity chocolate, but I’m not here to bring you chocolate news no matter how much I wish I was. No, I’m here to tell you about Pearl Jam streaming their epic 2018 Seattle homecoming gig for 4 days for the price of $14.99 here. Also, the chocolate is caramel flavour.

Sinead O’Brien
Sinead’s Irish tinted spoken word laid over a post punk art rock sound has been extolled by critics everywhere, earning her a stage with the likes of John Cooper Clarke and Brian Jonestown Massacre and a track on the Speedy Wundergound compilation in 2019 with Black Midi and Black Country, New Road. Catch her this Friday here. I don’t know why it’s there because it’s all in Ukrainian but just trust me on this.

Saturday 13th February
Romeo and Juliet
It’s not all about music and there’s never been a more appropriate time to step in to the romantic and dramatic world of online theatre than Valentine’s weekend. The stage show will be streaming twice a day starting on Saturday for £15 here.
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Slowthai
Perhaps we can forgive Slowthai for his embarrassing and misogynistic display of shit flirting at the NME awards in 2019 because his new songs are quite good. Also Skepta seems to think he’s alright which means presumably Adele does and she’s basically a female icon. No? Well if you’re into it he’s doing a Q&A this Saturday with Julie Adenuga for £14 starting at 7pm here.

CeeLo Green
From one cancelled creep straight onto another (kind of harshing my Valentine love vibe but w/e) CeeLo Green will be performing an intimate session at 2am Saturday night/Sunday morning live from Atlanta for $9.99. 20 lucky fans will be automatically upgraded to the Virtual Afterparty. Turns out there are some instances where social distancing is actually better. Check it out at here.

Sunday 14th February
Smashing Pumpkins
As if your 90’s legend slot hasn’t already been well and truly filled in this weekend’s indoor Valentines festival, Smashing Pumpkins are headlining JBTV Revolution Television Virtual Festival 2021 with their slot late night Sunday/early Monday.. They’ll be playing this weekend alongside System of a Down, Charli XCX, Gary Numan and the Ting Tings. I think we’ve definitely found the winner of weirdest line up but I’m here for it. Check it out here.

Charli Fudge is an honorary Barrovian having shacked up a few years ago with one of the West Coast’s finest’s - very own Mark Pratt. Has previously written for Itchy City Guides and Vice but has since settled down for the understated life of a public sector worker/forever unfinished novelist.